publicizing your utter uselessness in this world
wading through the morass of crap that is twitter, not to be confused with the shitedom of detritus that is facebook, i stumbled across a number of folks whose only think to talk about seems to be tweeting about what’s trending. so basically, when you click on a link for a trending topic, you get these morons’ posts about how the topic is trending.
you’re telling me what’s popular. yeah thanks jackass, the site already did that like two minutes ago.
what’s up with the little pointy folds?
went to the toilets yesterday at work and noticed the toilet tissue roll which wasn’t in the holder yet had the end of the paper folded into a little point as if it were in some 5-star hotel. seemed a bit out of place though.
this did get me to thinking “why do we ever fold the TP like that, even in a fancy hotel?” it doesn’t make it a weapon – you couldn’t put someone’s eye out or use it as a prison yard shank. it doesn’t help you with wiping – that little point doesn’t really “get into the crevices” or anything. some places even go beyond the triangle fold and into the realm of origami – but again, that TP vulture is not going to help clean your bum more effectively. so why?!?!
a quick wikipedia check seems to indicate others have pondered this modern dilemma, and the general consensus seems to be that it makes people think you cleaned the bathroom. i would have thought leaving the bowl free of crapstreaks might afford the same sense, but this is obviously why i don’t work in the hotel industry.
happy 2010!!!
…and i’m only 7 months late. at this point, you don’t really bother to come up with anything meaningful to say so much as you just get some content out there. i imagine it’s a lot like being a producer for fox news. minus the hand-feeding of glenn beck and sarah palin’s constant hockey mom chitchat.
now some web crawler can go consume this bit of digital chicharrones. mmm piggy.
ant and dec discuss masturbation with the whole family.
last night i was flipping through the telly and came across one of the latest nintendo ads featuring those loveable rapscallions, ant & dec. if you’ve not lived in the UK or Ireland, think of these guys as a ryan seacrest/jerry springer half-human/half-tv presenter hybrid in two separate bodies. they’re famous here for hosting “pop idol”, “britain’s got talent”, and a number of other programmes. in other words, visualised tripe of the modern era.
i come in on the advert about 10 seconds in. i’ve seen it before so i knew it was about the nintendo DS, but for a moment, without seeing the images, i honestly though they were talking about masturbating – “whip it out”, “come home”, “have a sit down”, “beat him”, “everybody plays with it”. it’s become my new mission to try to find someone who’s not familiar with this and try to convince them it’s an ad for chafing the bishop. the best part should be when Ant or Dec asks, “fancy a challenge?”
i for one wish we could go back to the good old days of video game advertising, where there’s only dropping families to their imminent death from great heights, and references to “busting your crank” and “leaving skid marks on your soul”. here’s to muffy, buffy, and biff jr. though admittedly, that’s an atari 5200 ad and that’s not the good old days.
PS: bonus points to figuring out who’s the top/bottom in the ant/dec outfit. little help for ya – or is it?
freedom…aaahhh
i’ve had a blackberry for the past two or three years. at times I thought it was great, other times I hated it with a passion. stupid little screen, crappy little trackball, two frigging letters per button.
friday, I got an iPhone 3Gs. it’s literally as if I’ve gone from using an abacus to using a supercomputer. I only wish now that I’d made the jump sooner. for example, I’m posting this from the wordpress app, checking fantasy football scores, and viewing actual web paged versus text-only lists of links. I haven’t even used my actual desktop today. I’ve also paid bills, listened to music, watched videos, edited photos… dude, this is the life.
suck it, RIM. never again.
a little hometown pride.
go bulldogs! my high school football team has finally made the big time. finally we’ll be known for more than dairyland, tony kiritsis, and the new IGA. woo hoo!
what’s a typical irish autumn day like?
people everywhere seem to have a sick fascination with weather. you call someone far away, “what’s the weather like?” we always ask. well, here’s what it was like a few days ago.
nice....
see that green around the fringes of the big blue mass? *that’s* ireland. so, how you think the weather is?
the brave and majestic saga of resurrecting whatchyoutalkinbout.com
my friends, oh how you’ve missed me! yeah, i’ve missed you too, but what the fuck dude – this is *my* blog, so this shit is supposed to be all about me right? and all about answering your questions of where the hell this site’s been for the last 131 days, 21 hours, 45 minutes and 10 seconds. or if you prefer:
4 months, 8 days, 21 hours, 45 minutes, 10 seconds
131 days, 21 hours, 45 minutes and 10 seconds
11,396,710 seconds
189,945 minutes (rounded down)
3165 hours (rounded down)
18 weeks (rounded down)
if you can’t deal with one of those ways of expressing time then you may be a vampire, unable to comprehend such a brief period of time given your immortality, or you may be an idiot. in either case, please do not stalk me.
so yeah, what happened. that’s what all the other blogs about my blog are asking. well, we lost the previous home of whatchyoutalkinbout.com. well, i’ll tell ya – an infestation of wasps literally ate the guts right out of it. it was amazing. a miracle of nature. a sign from the heavens that replacing a disk and upgrading a couple other components was gonna cost me more than i cared to spend. so i started looking at new options.
i settled on a cheap, tiny, and efficient asus eeebox. it’s about the size of paperback, uses 6W of power, makes barely any noise, and it was under €300. there’s a slightly cheaper version than the one i got which comes with windows xp, but those are pretty hard to come by in ireland. i could’ve gotten one else where, but by the time shipping or customs came into the picture i figured screw it. i created a bootable usb key to install ubuntu and after a little bit of trial and error to get it all right had ‘er gettin saaaved from msft within a few minutes of delivery. and then its hard drive goes out. scrreeeeccchhhh. YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING SHITTING ME. i was deflated.
so i called up the folks i bought it from, told them my tale of woe, and they happily took care of the warranty return for me. sent a courier out to pick it up, and another to deliver my new unit. unfortunately that took two weeks, so i’ve been waiting for today for quite some time as you might imagine. “i want my fucking computer…NOW.” but hey, the PEG people were really nice and i’d shop there again for sure.
so finally, new one’s here and we’re back in business and business is slow and not-for-profit as usual.
anyhow, that’s that and i’ll post again soon to fill you in on the past few months. ok…4 months, 8 days, 21 hours, 45 minutes, 10 seconds.
laziness triumps again.
lately, i’ve been having all sorts of douchebag bot registrations on the site. funny, as i typed “site” there it came out “shit”. what’s that all about?
anyhow, back to the d-bags. i’ve been too lazy to set up this one lousy plugin which uses captcha to try to prevent much of this, so today i just disabled registrations. you see assholes, look what you just did for the rest of us. the rest of these good, god-fearing, apple-pie-loving peoples. you just took a dump right in the middle of the party, right there, on the coffee table, next to that one guy “bob” who just won’t shut the fuck up about how he used to go out with lauren holly. jesus dude, she gets banged by “lloyd” or whomever the hell jim carrey plays in “dumb and dumber”. how lame is that. so yeah. thanks a million. merry christmas, merry fucking lloyd christmas everyone.
so anyhow, if you want to register, send me an email. if you don’t know how to reach me, then chances are you probably don’t need to be registering.
i hate being sick.
i don’t have swine flu, bird flu, mad cow, german measles, chinese hysteria fever, or space herpes. i’m pretty sure it’s just the standard upper respiratory infection which seems to hit me like clockwork every 6 months or so. either way, three days in bed/on the couch was exactly how i wanted to spend my 3 day weekend.
to top it all off, my mac died on saturday. it dings, the screen stays black, and the fan starts up as if it’s trying to fly back home to cupertino.
